Who’s your favourite?

…SAS: Who Dares Wins.

This programme is not what you think it is. Okay it’s sort of what you think it is – it’s about putting the selection process for the SAS on the telly.

I don’t need to describe it to you, do I? There’s hill marches and shouting and mock-interrogations. Sweating. Not much sleeping. A lot of casual swearing. (“I had a soft spot for him, but it turns out he’s a bag of shit.” “It was pretty poor. No wait, not pretty poor – fucking pathetic.”)

But what it is, under all that, what it really is, is X Factor for people who don’t like singing or dancing. All the candidates all have weird back stories, they all have to do things they thought they were good at, but now they’re not so sure. They are pushed to their absolute limits and put under terrible pressure. There are tears! There are eliminations!

And I am totally hooked in the same way that people are hooked on X Factor and Strictly. It is brilliant. It is tense. It is surprisingly emotional and touching.

I am watching Series 1 on catch-up and a new series, set in the jungle, is on C4 9pm on Tuesday nights.