The Spike


February 2016

Tom Hardy oN tELkY!!

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As your erstwhile Tom Hardy correspondent it is my duty to inform you, if you didn’t know already, that Tom Hardy is going to be on TELLY that is like all the time, not just in some movie that you may or may not enjoy, on BBC1! Either April this year or next year. Sorry I’m a bit flustered, not sure of the details.

It’s some sort of Victorian dark drama thing. I mean who gives a fuck for the details?!?! *wipes froth from chin”.

Here’s the trailer. Is it my imagination or does he have a slight problem with his “r”s? Cute.

Ikat lamp

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There isn’t nearly enough Ikat print in my house, despite the fact that I love it and think it is very chic.

If I needed a new lamp, I would head directly to Pooky, which is a very smart but not over-priced online place that sells only lamps. They have this lovely sunshine yellow lampshade on sale in a variety of sizes.

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I have ordered from Pooky before, (though sadly nothing in an Ikat print), and can confirm that the customer service is good, the delivery is prompt and the stuff is solid.

New Hush now

Hush Spring 16 stuff has arrived so get on it NOW if you were thinking about getting anything because it sells out super fast.

My 3 hero Hush products are:

The Cotton Slub V Tee, £27. I’ve got hundreds of these in different colours. They are super-flattering and the sizing is very generous. I am a 10-12 and a 34D and take an XS.

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I think this dress might be the most useful-looking item of clothing for Spring/Summer I’ve seen yet. (Wear with white trainers and the sleeves rolled up.) £60

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Hush accessories are famously great. This tassel necklace makes jeans and a t-shirt feel like you’ve tried.


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New colours

Because I am so craven and rigid, when it came to having to paint our drab whitish hallway a new colour, I went straight to Farrow & Ball’s new colours. One of these nine colours, feted like the arrival of a new Jilly Cooper novel was grey, called “Worsted”. Also, I read a piece in the Times by Rachel Johnson saying that the only colour to paint one’s hallway this day was grey.

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So off I went to purchase some tins of it. When my husband saw the colour going on the walls – (I was out) – he rang me up and said “ARE YOU SURE THAT’S THE RIGHT FUCKING COLOUR DARLING? IT’S A BIT DARK!”

“Yes!” I bluffed. “It will look amazing when it’s finished!” I added, with 100% more confidence than I felt.

Because that’s the thing with a new colour – who knows if it will be marvellous or dreadful? Who can possibly say? Though my general take on things these days is that I have spent my adult life painting walls timid, vanishing colours and it’s just so dull.

And the fact is that I have never seen any room painted a Farrow & Ball colour and thought “No, I don’t like it. This doesn’t work.”

I’m also going wild and having one wall in the kitchen painted “Light Blue” because I am so bored with my kitchen looking like the inside of a fridge, or an igloo.

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Anyway, more news on this as I have it.

Hullo, Channing?

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Yeah hi it’s me. Can you just tell everyone that I’m not coming in today? I had Noro all yesterday… I know… all day. It was really bad. Say what? Yeah I did that, it didn’t really help.

I know it’s a disappointment, I know how much you enjoy The Spike’s confusing mixture of high and low fashion, cheap photos and tired visual gags.

Back tomorrow, love you. Such a shame about Magic Mike XXL.

The Spike has been reading…

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This is not only an affectionate yet terrifying portrayal of Alzheimer’s, but also a murder mystery. In some ways, I wish I’d never read it, though that’s not to say it’s not a good book.

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There’s brilliant writing, characterisation and dialogue in this odd little book about jewellery – but the plotting is as clunky as it would be if I’d written it. Personally, I’ve always thought plot was overrated.

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I am only  13% into this book and I hate it. But so many famous people like it *coughLenaDunhamcough* that this makes me feel inadequate. Which makes me hate it even more. So maybe disregard my opinion.


The Spike has been watching…

…some movies! I loathe the cinema. Fucking animals all in there, no idea how to behave, chatting, scoffing, looking at their damn phones. Is it you? Is it? What is wrong with you? I would 100 times rather be behind the curve and watch movies in the comfort of my own home. My husband despairs.

So! New up on TiVo:

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I loved everything about this film. It’s like Training Day but less scary and with Emily Blunt as the Ethan Hawke character. Worst first day at new job ever. Benicio Del Toro and Josh Brolin looking hot – but then I do love a rugged old dog.


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… about the uncovering of the Lance Armstrong doping campaign. If Armstrong is a third of as much of a jerk as he’s played by this chappy in the film, I need to give Sheryl Crow a ring and ask her WHAT SHE WAS THINKING BABEZ. Chris O’Dowd is good. Not as boring as you think it’s going to be. I mean, quite boring, but also: short.

Two things for kids

  1. Sam and I have been reading Big Digger, ABC together for a few weeks and his letters are really coming along thanks to it. Though he may just be memorising the book and not actually able to recognised individual letters –  I have not independently tested his knowledge. The good thing about having a child who is fanatical about anything (diggers, princesses, Thomas the Tank Engine and so on) is that you can exploit the fanaticism to your own ends. Kitty was never fanatical about anything – it was tricky.


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£6.99, Amazon


2. I just got this personalised backpack for my, (okay Giles’s), god-daughter Dory. It’s fabulous and she loves it. I think it’s very important that girls know they can be superheroes, too. They might not want to, but it’s good to know that they can. For at least 18 months I was She-Ra. In my mind. It made the commute to work much more amusing.

On a side note, as the years go on I am more and more outraged and peeved that I have been afforded no godchildren of my own. What is it about me?! Tell me honestly! (Don’t.)

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Personalised Kapow! rucksack, £24 from notonthehighstreet

Two things for you…

This waxed coat from Plumo is crackers but also maybe brilliant. Superb if you want the practicality of a Barbour, but not the same connotations – AND this has got a hood! Eat that, Barbour.

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I am so in love with this pink cardigan from Madewell. Pink will be everywhere this Spring and this particular blush colour will go with absolutely everything else in your wardrobe right now – even with khaki… think about it…

You have to style this smartly – the wrong kind of skirt or hairdo and you will tip over from stylish to frumpy in a heartbeat. It’s living life right on the edge.

Madewell is a right bitch with its hidden costs: it says here that this is £46 but with taxes and shipping (£10 for standard delivery!!!) it actually comes to about £60.

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Graduate cardigan sweater, Madewell, £46-ish


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