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Granny trollies

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Do you dare?

I posted on Instagram a few days ago a picture of Soraya Khashoggi wheeling along one of those granny shopper trolleys covered in a cute pattern (it was dogs in all different colours). I said “Is it wrong to want one of these?” (If you missed it, hop over to my Instagram – @esthermcoren)

The response was huge! 44 comments I got! And counting! Everyone said “No, I want one, too” or “No, if you find a good one tell me.”

Ever since my kids were too old to go in a buggy I’ve been toying with the idea of getting one of these – as once you’re rid of the buggy you realised how insanely useful it is for piling all sorts of shit in. I was one of those mums at the playground whose buggy keeled over backwards when the kid got out.

My mum always had a granny trolley, well before she was an actual granny. It was a giant wicker thing with rumbly wheels and she wheeled it down to the shops when she wanted to walk rather than get in the car. Along with our hideous car and house covered in cat hair and her habit of skip-diving, it was the most embarrassing thing that she did.

Does it put me off? Hell no! Because whereas my mum would have just shrugged her shoulders and thought “Give a shit whether you’re embarrassed or not” I reckon there might be a way to make it “work”.

I’m torn – between getting one so insane and hideous while wearing it with reasonable clothes, so that it is so clearly ironic it raises my outfit to untold stratospheres of coolness. (See above.)

On the other hand, I could get this Smart Cart, which is an insulated box on wheels, in which you can fit the contents of a small flat, but which will elevate no outfit, or look cool even if Kate Moss was wheeling it to a party at John McEnroe’s house, while chatting to Huey from Fun Lovin Criminals (before he got fat).

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Oprah Winfrey – YES THAT OPRAH WINFREY – favours a brand called Rolser, and her favourite is this one. But Oprah Winfrey is the richest woman in the entire world and the things that would make me look like a dickhead of the first order on Oprah are simply charming eccentricities.

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I also find something extremely comforting and literal about this one, also from Rolsen, via Amazon:

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But listen if we all do this together, we can make it happen. Someone needs to send Rosie Huntingdon Whitely one. And Cara Delevigne. Joss Stone probably already has one.

Next stop: bumbags.

NEW ESPADRILLES!

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Contrasting tied wedges £29.99 – search 3523/201

I went insane last week during the fourth consecutive 6am wake-up with Sam and went on an online shopping spree in Warehouse and Zara.

Actually this is a lie, I didn’t go insane – I coldly went online to spend money because I was pissed off about being awake. It was the opposite of insane. I was the sanest moment of the day.

I found I’d lost my touch, though – and genuinely sort of couldn’t find anything to buy. Normally in any shop you put me in I can find something fabulous – Homebase, Poundland, Oasis … but even on the Zara website I was a bit lost.

I am actually now really quite into dragging things out of my wardrobe that I haven’t worn for a while and trying to make them work. I look at these things and think “I loved you once. How can I love you again?”

But I just wanted to BUY SOMETHING. I’m sure you are sympathetic. So I got two tops that turned up and were a bit disappointing but then I also got these lace-up espadrilles and they were really very good. They are a beautiful colour, they are comfortable ***double triple win*** with a perfect heel height and the lace-up element is so inescapably now that I could wear it with an old H&M slip dress, some gypsy earrings and a scarf in my hair and look as though the whole thing was completely on purpose (as opposed to accidentally-on-purpose.)

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For more fun and games join me over on Instagram @esthermcoren

AMAZING MAKE-UP GIVEAWAY!

 

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All this week I will be doing a fabulous make-up give away in aid of Save the Children. I have been hoarding samples, testers and other beauty goodies for the last few months and am now going to rain them all over the internet like Dolly Parton high on E.

All you have to do is keep tuned to me on Twitter (@estherwalker) and Instagram (@esthermcoren).

It will go like this:

All week between 8am and 12 noon donate £5 to Save the Children – screen grab the donation confirmation page, email it to me at esther.walker@gmail.com and I will pick a winner at random and announce the winner at 1pm.

Easy peasy.

This is a LUCKY DIP – so you don’t know what you’re going to get, but trust me, it is all absolutely 100% top quality. All thriller, no filler. I’ve got big name brands and cult treasures. You want this stuff, trust me!

Good luck!

Sunglasses

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Portugal oversized sunglasses from Chloe. Sorry, I meant TopShop.

WHO buys designer sunglasses? Who is it doing it? Is it you? You?

YOU ARE MAD! Crazy. Buying expensive sunglasses is like buying a clear, very thin crystal orb, which you must carry around with you at all times, but it can’t go in your bag and you can’t really put it down. It also cost £300 and everyone wants to nick it.

Don’t do it.

Every summer I bulk-buy TopShops’s maddest sunglasses. I mean the ones that look really insane. And everyone loves them ands says “Wow are those Marni?” and I say “No they are from TopShop.”

This year I bought these in cream and in black for £18 – but the tortoiseshell colour way is great, too.

I also branched out and went to Uniqlo and bought these, for £12.90, which have a yellow reflective tint and are awesome.

Or should I say were awesome, because I have lost them, or rather misplaced them (I’m sure they’ll turn up). But the thing is, even though I am well sad about having lost them, at the very least they did not cost £300.

 

For more fun and games join me over at Instagram @esthermcoren – this account used to be private but now isn’t! See you there x

Holidaze

Cheerio, then!

I’m off on my first holiday for a calendar year.

My skin has celebrated by breaking out into a giant boil in the space between my shoulder and breastbone. Thanks a fucking bunch!

I, on the other hand, celebrated a few days ago by going mad in &OtherStories, which is a very chic shop that I don’t get to much.

My friends Danielle and Irish Mary are insanely fashionable and always immaculate and get everything from Isabel Marant and I know all their clothes come from Isabel Marant because I see them in magazines or spend my evenings foaming over them on Net A Porter and they sometimes say to me about a jacket or a top “Love that, where’s that from?” and every single time I have to say “Zara”.

It’s getting embarrassing, so I went to &OtherStories to see if I could change things up a bit. I found some nice things I’d like to share with you and it was a novelty to try things on in store rather than take a random punt on something online and then have to return it.

Like I had to return a few things in H&M the other day and the girl at the till was so fucking mean to me! I mean she didn’t actually swear at me but she was definitely being horrible – another customer in the queue gave me this rueful apologetic look like: “Why does she hate you so much?” I think it was because I didn’t have my receipt ready. Anyway, Anastasia at the Oxford Street branch of H&M: fuck you!!!!

But on to sunnier places and &OtherStories.

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Very lovely lightweight summer knit, £40
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Off-shoulder dress. Probably only for holiday nights, but easier to wear than you fear: £65
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“Drape dress” £65

This last dress is insanely slutty and you cannot wear a bra with it, but it is surprisingly supportive and it’s only me and my kids and my husband on holiday, so I thought… fuck it and bought it. It’s also made of washed silk and feels gorgeous and isn’t unflattering. But I appreciate that this isn’t an especially helpful recommendation.

I won’t be around next week as I am on the aforementioned holiday, but keep up with me on Instagram @esthermcoren.

Must say, I can’t stand looking at pics of other people’s holidays on Instagram – (apart from @rvk_loves who can do no wrong) – but you might have a stronger stomach than mine.

xx

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