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Some of my more diligent readers might remember that I started off the new year with horrendous skin that was on a constant outbreak. It was so bad I got little flutters of panic about it.

It stopped me from writing about the brilliant organic essential oil-based beauty brand Votary because not even a brilliant organic beauty range can help when spots are waging war on your social life. AGED THIRTY SIX.

I self-diagnosed the problem as hormones and went along to the London Hormone clinic. I saw Dr Annaradnam, who was a dynamo of ideas and suggestions, (which you don’t often see in the medical profession), and sent me off for a blood test. She also gave me a topical cream called Duac to slap on the affected area (chin left-hand side) in the meantime.

The results came back inconclusive – although I have to lowest Vitamin D levels Dr Annaradnam had seen in someone actually alive – but she put me on the blessed progesterone cream anyway. You apply one pump to the inside of your forearm every evening, rub in and leave.

That was a month ago. Six months after my skin went totally haywire, it has now calmed down. It’s not perfect, though I never strive for perfect, I only ever strive for not completely awful. It’s very hard to say exactly what has helped. It wasn’t a very scientific experiment, in that I didn’t try just one thing consistently. I have also now stopped with the progesterone cream because my friend Sarah told me that it might clear up your spots but it gives you a belly (“Progesterone,” she said gravely, “is not your friend.”) and my face continues on an even keel.

So what I would say about the London Hormone Clinic is – they are good people who will try their best for you. But don’t go unless you are absolutely convinced beyond all reasonable doubt that hormones are the problem because it is fucking expensive. I haven’t really added up all the numbers because I’m too scared but I reckon all in it was about £400.