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Making January not a total loss-leader: Tom Hardy in Taboo

I can’t bear to be a stereotype, to be cliched. Even though I am all the time, I can’t stand it. And so I am really disappointed to find myself so bored, so uninspired right now. And when I say right now, I mean in January, the month that everyone moans on about. I have always tried to find joy and light in January but this year, it’s not happening.

Even my favourite all-time activity, quietly looking at dresses online, leaves me feeling queasy. I don’t know what to think anymore. In the shops it’s just a mess of ditsy floral print, and asymmetric hems, stripes, things all tied up, cold shoulders and bomber jackets. It all makes me want to go and lie down in a dark room.

Although I am pleased that my pre-winter purchases of those little North Face jackets for the kids, plus some snow boots and my absurd Canada Goose jacket have been pulling their weight the past few weeks.

In particular, the kids’ warm outerwear this winter has been this North Face jacket with a Uniqlo puffa over the top if necessary. It’s worked really well, it’s lightweight and gives you options for more or less coverage. Although Kitty managed to pull the zip off last week, and the zip off her winter boots. She’s like an e-bomb for zips.

I am also still stubbornly 3 blips overweight, despite no drinking during the week (except a small glass of whiskey on Burn’s Night with my haggis) and being on a diet. It doesn’t help that Irish Mary, who is thin as a whip, runs past my house at about 092o every morning, yodelling “Halloooo!” in her Lululemon leggings while my brave face crumbles to black dust and blows away on a stiff breeze. I must do something about it. But it’s so cold, whine whine.

PERHAPS THEY WILL MAKE ME THE NEW EDITOR OF VOGUE??? And other insane thoughts.

Anyway look I’d better go, I have to ring my editor about a piece and she’s kindly agreed to take a call from me. I kind of just want to have a chat, but don’t tell her that.